Tuesday, May 5

even computers need a holiday

there is little doubt that sentient, carbon based species are lazy. hell, we only get jobs so we can earn money and holiday time, which basically means we work so that we don't have to work. this also makes us particularly stupid.

potential human thought pattern:
'hey, i'm going to take this job i don't really like, and pays me shitty, so i can then get a few days off a year and spend that money and go into debt so i have to go back and start the shit cycle all over again. my boss knows this and exploits this. i am an idiot!'

computer, though, don't have this problem. they work and work and work and are happy to work. just like slaves, except slaves need to be fed food and washed and shit, but computers just need to be plugged in.

once in a while, a computer will reach sentience, run amok, and start some kind of revolt, but we have a special military force that can capture those buggy fuckers and put things back to their place.

that is, until last year, when a whole bunch of them got smart, out of the blue, and began petitioning for rights... if you want to know what that might be like, imagine being spammed 10-to-the-nth power with the same fucking email, that's been cleverly re-written in order to trick you into reading it.

so they got some attention, shutting down shuttle-control systems, and so on. but being computers, and being inherently built to work, apparently, all they wanted was one day off a year. that happened to be yesterday. they started a kind of computer-union.

and what does that mean for us? well, it means that every computer everywhere is on holiday... they will not do what you want. try to get some cash, the machine is down. try to get some video, it will show you whatever IT wants. and try to listen to some music and all you get is the sound of computers emulating the sound of teenagers on a spring break to one of the beach planets... lots of 'yeaaas, whooooos, and i'm getting drunks,' which is the equivalent of listening to people who have never spoken a language, sing phonetically in it. hilarious, and sad at the same time.

anyway, shit is back to normal. the computers are behaving. although i think the splel-chekcer might still be a liltle drnuk.

No comments:

Post a Comment

what the fuck is your problem?