Friday, July 24

hyperlift shitbags need to be thrown down the shaft

so, as i've mentioned before, this fucking place has a lot of levels... how many, i have no clue, although i'm sure i'm supposed to. so many in fact that they had to install these hyperlifts, not quite a teleportal (since those are expensive and we all know that management won't spend a fucking dime if they don't have to... think of them as an elevator that goes really fast... potentially at relativistic speeds.

this is all fine and good, especially if you are traveling from the tartarus levels like us scum to the mall or upper levels. beats having to take a shuttle or, shudder, the stairs... at any rate, there is a common courtesy that most of us observe in the hyperlifts... use em for long distance.

not for one or two levels. never for one or two levels... never should you ever use them for one or two fucking levels you fat, stupid piece of shit!

so longshanks and i were, unfortunately, caught in the same hyperlift. he and i had run into some trouble fighting in front of the tourists and were being called up to management levels to get a reaming... literally... somehow the station had instituted a corporal punishment rule and you can imagine the rest. right around the mall levels, i see someone running toward the hyperlift. i quickly stab at the 'door close' button but hit the wrong one. oh well... i get lots of thank-yous so i'll take em.

just as the doors are finally closing, another passenger in the lift hits door open, to left in some friend of his he saw out there... whatever... no big deal.

the hyperlift gets going and stops... one level up... the idiot that i let on, by accident gets off... i can feel longshanks' eyes burning into my skull (he has some weird laser installed so he can work in the dark if the power goes down again).

the lift chugs off and longshanks informs me that i will be disembowled should i ever hold the lift for a one-floorer again.

now, longshanks is a tall, lanky greasy looking guy that most would normally avoid... but this starclown dickwad in the lift with us turns to him and says

'i let her on and no you won't,'

clearly mistaking the target of longshanks' beration to be him... hilarious... longshanks informs him that he was not speaking to him, that eavesdropping is rude and he should mind his manners. then he continues to inform him that his entire family will be slaughtered, raped and eaten in no particular order if he ever opens his mouth in the hyperlift again.


unsurprisingly the guy gets off at the next level... as the other 15 passengers.

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