Friday, February 17

welcome to the void... table for one?

i may have mentioned this before (and if i haven't, fuck you)... there is no down in space. there is no up in space. left, right, sideways, diagonally... none of those directions give a single shit about you when you are out in the big black void. this poses problems, very similar to the one i experienced as i stepped through the 'hole...

i thought i was falling. fine. i figured the floor of the ship wasn't quite aligned with the floor of the station, and in just mere moments, i'd hit, hard, a rather unforgiving and pointy grated floor. i assumed all this, because my eyes were closed, and i just kept waitingand waiting

and so on

and fuck me

this is odd



it was probably time to open my eyes.
it was also probably time to get a new job and ask cute little galactopus girl out on a date and get more reliable and less violent friends and get more motivated about everything and stop drinking and stop stealing and stop masturbating in plain sight of flapjack when i know damn well he is awake and is listening and crying and stop breaking things and stop being mean to everyone.

and it's probably time to stop making pointless lists of things which will never happen to avoid doing the things i really, really need to do right now, like open my damn eyes.

the likelihood of any of those happening are, of course, unlikely. but the eyes thing.
the eyes have it.

i opened them up.

your eyes are open and you know it, but nothing is differentiated. anywhere you look, it's a foggy, immaterial nonspace of light. it's terrifying and mighty at the same time. and it shifts. you don't see it shift, of course, you just think your pupils are constricting and dilating, but they're not. you become aware of every imperfection in your cornea, every floating, abandoned blood vessel swimming about in your vitreous humour.
try moving in any direction, and you have no point of reference. so even if you run like hell, you'll never feel like you're getting anywhere.

and if you turn around, there's no door, there's no window, there's no nothing. just you and your thoughts.

this would probably scare a normal person.
me? i shat myself.

so now it's me, nothingness, and the faint smell of excrement. at least that gives me some sense of direction.

then it occurred to me that the stupid box i yoinked from the ship was nowhere to be found. so that got me thinking
mystery box. mystery markings. mystery traveling through the universe instantaneously.

none of this was particularly good.

then i heard a very slow, very long, drawn out sound... breathy whispers, or a sub-sonic fart.

the sound got louder and louder. and weirdly, it felt like the void was shrinking


not a pleasant sound in the least. felt like someone shitting on your mother, right in front of you. it felt like someone wearing your father's skin as a suit, dancing about debasing himself. and it was getting louder. and the void was  definitely getting smaller.



now, all i felt was that awful, awful sound, right in my chest, in my brain, in my nose, in my intestines, in my balls, everywhere. overwhelming, overpowering. the sound became the entirety of the void, crushing me

the void, the sound, and me... we hit the limit and became a singularity.

and the excrement as well. that became part of the singularity.

then i started falling...

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