Friday, June 26

time travel is a bitch

those interdimensional glory holes i've mentioned before have another, more illicit use... if you can imagine something more illicit than getting a a blowjob from halfway across the galaxy performed by someone you've never met nor seen nor are sure of their gender...

with the right amount of tweaking (ie the right amount bribes) they can be used to send creatures back in time... in theory, at least. no one ever returns, but it's meant to be a one-way trip... usually things are so fucking bad here that you go back (ostensibly with enough antique money and clothes) and be some kind of trillionaire or whatever... but if you have the money to bribe the engineers, then why go back.... look i don't know... i don't come up with this shit... i'm just telling you what i heard.

now, once in a while, you catch a glimpse of these time travelers looking through old news clips, or films and shit like that... it just so happened that a friend of mine (an odd fucker who seemed to have a continually changing skin color) disappeared about a while ago... and looking for ancient pornography came across an article that clearly showed my alien friend, lying on some antique gurney with fucking tubes and shit going down his throat... i couldn't quite understand this article... turns out he became some sort of singer celebrity (a celebrity from the stars, if only the little monkeys back then could appreciate irony). people seemed to really like his shit... which started to piss me off, because i did a little research on my so-called friend kin-gap-op (they spelled it differently back then) and lo-and-behold... all of his songs were ideas he stole from me! my favorite, all about zombies and scary shit, i had one copy of and it disappeared exactly when he did...

oh well... time marches on... or is it back...

and the worst part of it, forgetting the stupid ideas, was that he disappeared with one of my closest friends, a midget space monkey named bubbles... what's gonna happen to bubbles?

1 comment:

  1. Apparently Bubbles started jerking off in front the kids which, ironically, was not a good look (according to the minders). So he was sent to reform school and put in diapers. Then one day a group of Oriental kids was visiting "the king" and Bubbles was there. Bubbles reached into his diapers and chucked his shit at the kids. After that Bubbles was gone.

    I'm raging at this shit.


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