Tuesday, April 14

another thing that does not turn me on

technology, for the most part, is a waste of time.

sure, we can live in space. but why the fuck should we? it's cold up here. always cold. we drink each others recycled piss and breath in each others old farts. would i rather be on a beach somewhere, surrounded by topless girls feeding grapes and booze? no, cuz then i'd have nothing to complain about. so i'm fucked either way.

anyway, this morning i walked in on flapjack flogging his member. it was horrible. all that man mass, grunting and straining like an animal. not sexy.

then i noticed what he was watching: robot porn. in all my years of unusual erotic tastes, i've never seen this shit before. and let me tell you... it's awful.

cold metal robots, with no secondary sexual characteristics, going at it in some farce of romance. shiny metal piston entering some perfectly drilled hole, glistening with some lubricant. weird.

and they are pre-programmed with a variety of 'technological' phrases, like 'i'll give you a firmware update,'' i'm ejecting my floppy drive,' and 'i'm so hard, but then again, i am made of titanium so i am always hard.' doesn't really do it for me. there's no passion.

now bader-meinhoff rears its ugly fucking head, because i am seeing this shit everywhere. all the kids on the station have these t-shirts and bags with their favorite robo-porn actors transferred on: cuntron, the vaginator, cockbot v6.9, that sort of thing. fucking annoying.

anyway, i watched over flapjack's heaving and grunting shoulder, as disturbing him might have been a worse situation. he finished off, and i ran out of the room at the height of his climax.

robo-porn, what will they think of next?


  1. Are capital letters obsolete in the future?

  2. I giggle every time I say "box set"...


what the fuck is your problem?